Telling Apart the Haters and the Concerned
When you’re young it’s critical to be surrounded by the right kinds of people. If you fill your life with Yes-Men then you stifle your self-awareness because no one challenges you to reflect on your actions.
On the other hand and perhaps more importantly, if you surround yourself with people who don’t believe in you or what you’re trying to accomplish then they can become deadweight as you try to move forward.
Where it gets tricky is that the ones who are most concerned for us are often our biggest allies, but the concerned; the positive form of the haters, so often these two separate things sound eerily similar. However, it’s unwise to push those who care about you away, so become skilled at recognizing which is which instead.
1) Look at their intentions
If you can tell it’s coming out of a place of love that’s one immediate telltale sign. The concerned are afraid for you – just be grateful they care. The haters are afraid of you – the world is a small place to them because they lack self-belief – you are the competition that makes it even smaller to them, taking the opportunities they feel entitled to.
2) Check for truth
Haters feed off of fear, so use them, lose them, and don’t feel bad about it. Every now and then even a hater can help us improve. Use good judgment to decipher the truth in what they say if it can be beneficial. Take the input from them, but let them keep the fear. Once you’ve extracted what’s real from what’s not, treat these people like the plague.
3) The concerned offer solutions
The concerned offer solutions and try to help problem solve. Haters only present problems and don’t offer ways around them – unless it benefits them personally. Haters are driven by ego. If they could not succeed, they do not want to see you succeed where they failed. They will dismiss your progress, while the concerned will celebrate the smallest victories with you.
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